Diane Kruger’s hot. But you wouldn’t think so if you read the critics. Give an unknown actress a bad script and a watch the desperately fat harpies and sad, lonely dudes take out their frustrations with the entertainment industry ignoring their pathetic movie scripts out on her.No Apologies! Press [one of great websites] scoured the Internet, compiled a list of said quotes, then ranked them in order of nastiness. Opinions will vary, of course, as to which are the worst, but they think they arre pretty close. Congratulations to all the who made the list:
LISA KENNEDY, Denver Post:
"Kruger is fetching enough. But it is hard to believe Helen is the most beautiful woman in the world. The blondest woman in Troy, perhaps."
KAREN KARBO, The Oregonian:
"Helen was one of the most beautiful, charismatic women in history; Kruger’s pretty in the manner of dozens of young women you might see at the mall on a Saturday afternoon"
ERIC HARRISON, Houston Chronicle
"Hers is the legendary ’face that launched 1,000 ships,’ but except for her having blond hair it’s hard to understand the fuss -- Achilles’ tent mates are just as cute."
This wasn’t written by me, but could have been.
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year ’round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But... Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so fuckin’ easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a goddamned Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today don’t know how good you’ve got it!
You gotta love this guy.....
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair,
including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions for a
couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to the
dumbfounded crowd and said, "I’m outta here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the whole charade, as if
nothing were wrong.
His revenge...making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300
guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this:-
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and
friends........$32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the
occasion.......................$3,000.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in
Maui.....................$8,500.
The look on everyone’s face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride
humping the best
man..............................................Priceless.
There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s
MASTERCARD.
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