Who told you that we can’t laugh of ourselves!? Actually a few jokes are some kind of funny.. even for Poles.
What’s long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A new last name.
Why did the Pole jack-off on the football field?
His coach said it was an exhibition game.
Hear about the Polish 727 that crashed into a cemetery outside of Warsaw?
So far they’ve recovered over 7000 bodies.
Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.
A Polish soldier was confronted by a charging German soldier and a charging Russian soldier. Which did he shoot first, and why?
He shot the German first--business before pleasure.
Stevie Wonder says to Tiger Woods, "Hey, man, could we play golf sometime?" Tiger says, "You’re joking." Stevie says, "No, I’m a good golfer. I have a friend stand near the hole and whistle, and I aim at the whistle." After Tiger is convinced, Stevie says, "Let’s make it interesting." Tiger says, "Fine. Name the time and place."
This joke is one of the greatest symbols in Joe Monster’s world. Having been repeatedly posted on various forums in short period of time, it became a symbol of a joke that was everybody read. Please read it carefully so that you know why your joke is called a Wilson’s nail...
Wilson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising. He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing and he offers to make a TV ad for Wilson’s Nails.
"Give me a week," says the friend, "and I’ll be back with a tape."
A week goes by and the marketing executive comes to see Wilson. He puts a cassette in the video and presses play. A Roman soldier is busy nailing Jesus to the cross. He turns to face the camera and says with a grin "Use Wilson’s Nails, they’ll hold anything."
Another week goes by and the marketing man comes back to see Wilson with another tape. He puts it in the machine and hits play. This time the camera pans out from a Roman standing with his arms folded to show Jesus on the cross. The Roman looks up at him and says ’Wilson’s Nails, they’ll hold anything’.
Wilson is beside himself. "You don’t understand: I don’t want anything with Jesus on the cross! Now listen, I’ll give you one last chance. Come back in a week with an advertisement that I can broadcast."
A week passes and Wilson waits impatiently. The marketing executive arrives and puts on the new video. A naked man with long hair, gasping for breath, is running across a field. About a dozen Roman soldiers come over the hill, hot on his trail. One of them turns to camera and says ’If only we had used Wilson’s Nails!’.
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